Defeating State/HSE oppression .

I am a weary woman. I seem to have spent the last ten years trying to single-handedly  change Ireland! I have NOT actually been alone I hasten to add....many a time outside Leinster house (Ireland's Government house)  we disabled people together have gathered to protest. But it FEELS like I'm alone. It feels like a very lonely place.

 we need more of THIS

How do I view Ireland?  Oh, my, ten years ago I chose to come back to Ireland to retire here. I didn't KNOW how difficult it was for sick or disabled people. I didn't know my love for Ireland would turn into a kind of hatred. But its not even hate - it's more like a sense of loss. 'let-down', shock, bewilderment.

I've always been a bit unable to understand nastiness, people who hurt and damage others I can't compute. Particularly those in positions of trust and power...doctors, legal bods, nurses, police, teachers, clergy...anyone I might have thought 'good' . When they turn nasty I have the visceral response of a child...complete incomprehension. how can they do that? how can they sleep comfy in their bed at night? it really does confuse me.

Over the last ten years I've had to deal with a health service from hell - the Irish HSE (health service Executive) or CHO6 to be precise (Co Wicklow) . I'm still reeling from my shock at the relentless abuse and neglect that the HSE perpetrate against sick and disabled people. Against me, against my twin.  If the same behaviours were perpetrated against us by staff in a residential institution - HIQA and police would be involved! If family or carers were doing it, someone would report to client protection bodies, or police. But living in the community with almost daily harm perpetrated by the HSE brings no action whatsoever. NADA.

I am still reeling from reading reports and comments designed to slur my name and my twin's name - and reputation. Reports that are far from TRUTH.

Still reeling from how the HSE constructs reality like a pathological psychopath - with no feeling or sense of love whatsoever. They have honed their 'voice' in such a way that disguises the reality. Their 'economy with the truth' is pathological and constructive. It works. For example letters to TD's or government Ministers suggest all is well, services are up and running, implemented, working and they are doing EVERYTHING they can to make my life easier!  Well, I know what they say is pure fabrication. Written by managers trained by solicitors to deny accountability or save money.

They write bullshit and I've been told by many TD's that they don't believe a word of what any HSE manager writes to them. BUT....and here's the sting, TD's love these letters because it means they can construct the constituent as either wrong, bad, ungrateful, mentally ill or devious and HSE is right and therefore they need do nothing. If the HSE says services are available - services are available - period!

So our politicians want it this way. They are complicit in our oppression.

Which means we poor sick and disabled sods spend years beating our heads against a brick wall, only injuring ourselves not them. Torture is based on denying reality. Tell a person that the colour of the cat is blue just as the person knows it's black over so many years will result in the person either going mad or believing , yes, the cat IS blue even if they know there's no such thing as a blue cat!

So what are we to do in the face of HSE torturer's, maliciousness and nastiness? Here are the options:

1. Do nothing. Suck it up , acquiesce for a quiet life (but no services) .
2. Keep HSE happy - like a domestic violence victim tries to keep her partner happy to avoid being beaten . We all know where this leads ...years of abuse, often leading to death.
3. Challenge 'nicely' - this amounts to grovelling, begging, pleading - and is exhausting and doesn't work.
4. Challenge strongly - take no shit and tell them you won't. Likely to get every HSE official ganging up against you, engaging in a 'group-think' about you and 'gas-lighting' you. And believe me no HSE person will back you up even if they KNOW you've been treated badly. More than their jobs worth. 
5. Go to solicitor - this costs money and many say you can't ever win with the HSE so don't want the job
6. Go to a TD - who is already 'infected' by the HSE's pathological mindset. They don't want to do anything and that's the truth. 
7. Go to a newspaper...this only works if you are a child or a very vulnerable adult . everyone else is viewed as not needing the help of media scrutiny.  furthermore this is only a brief 'one day wonder' and issues are quickly forgotten. 
8. Put in a complaint under 'your say-your service'...not much chance of working as HSE self regulate. The alleged 'investigator' of your complaint will be a HSE manager, often the manager of the person you are complaining about. 
9. Protest outside the Dail (Leinster House) can sometimes work, but it needs a good crowd,  but only a one day wonder - TD's come out for their 'poor crip - I support' publicity shot - but they don't actually DO anything to help the cause. (I've probably shaken the hands of all the TD's - or the key ones but never had ANY of them fight my corner! Never!) 

Being now weary - I can think of only one method to defeat our oppression by state agencies.

Massive disability protests where we need to disrupt, chain ourselves to railings, sit-downs and not move...I'm really tired of the how protests go. We need 'ACTION - NOT WORDS' and this means , direct action . DISRUPTION - a wee bit of anger - PROTEST.  Not criminal behaviour, I reject that, no, we must be within the law.

We need a group willing to be 'disruption activists' - for our cause.

but that DISRUPTION needs to be on-going. persistent and focused.