Coming Home to Ireland

The Irish Times do a column on Irish people who return to live in Ireland. I've never attempted to get my 'returning home' experience published. Why? I just know they wouldn't publish. Why? because it would criticise a much protected institution.  Or rather, I'll rephrase that, they like clear cases of wrongdoing, preferably proven by recognised groups who make the inquiries, investigate or otherwise have clout of law.

They would be afraid of little 'ol me, criticising the institution called The HSE.  They'd worry about such things as defamation. Though the HSE is not averse to defaming me.

Its seen as 'not the done thing' to complain much in Ireland. A culture I find amazing in its 'backwardness'. I think the Irish Catholic Culture of accepting what happens, not going against 'authority' together with sheep-like Irish tendencies mitigate against Justice. But very Irish...very 'Catholic'.

There is of course something in the Irish psyche towards 'incestuous non-sexual behaviour'.  I mean by that; "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours". "I'll cover up for you, if you cover up for me". Brown envelopes. Cover-up...lies. and if the institution needs to protect itself, then no patient is safe.
Any means to defend oneself is justifiable in the HSE institution.  any means at all...even lies, or the lesser, 'economy of the truth', equally pernicious.

That's my experience of 'returning home'.

As a sick, disabled older woman...Ireland is a death trap. Particularly if you have a rare disease, no family, few friends, are single and you hate injustice.

For fragility alongside rage is a disaster to health care. The rage of injustice can overwhelm the fragile self. So what is left is a sense of futility leading to depression. When the HSE reframes the patients rage as "aggression" rather than 'righteous' , the patient is abandoned. But fragility does not cope with abandonment well. And the fragile soul who cannot, cannot compromise on Justice is in an impossible position.

So when the fragile soul realises they are health abandoned, health neglected, health abused, where does she go? There is no-where. When the sick, disabled person is neither treated, cared for or supported, there is nothing....a void of terrible pain that feeds the rage that the HSE exploit. So manipulative HSE use the patients rage to justify no care and as rage increases so does abandonment....and then no-one cares.

and the 'Charities' who are deemed the saviours of distressed souls, compromise on support because 'in hock' to the HSE they fear the HSE wrath also. and the Government who give the Charities their grants fail to act for that would implicate THEM in propping up the abusive HSE institution. So you see, its all incestuously entwined....the poor ol sick , disabled person is bottom of a ladder they cannot ever climb.

There is NO health Justice. No health service for the poor, the public,  None. and those who complain... campaign, refuse to play the game are dumped in the HSE rubbish bin ...there to rot.

and everyone breathes a sigh of relief...they've 'dealt' with her.

That's my experience of 'returning HOME'.

To an incestuous country, To a country that has abandoned the sick, the old, disabled person. (and poor, homeless, and others)...where CARE left the psyche of the health institution years ago.

I didn't know this before I came home. I thought Ireland was that lovely island of generosity and fun. It is, to an extent, but there are conditions... don't ask for help.  You MUST be self sufficient, well, young and productive. All else...don't apply.

You are no longer an Irish citizen.