Forced to behave unethically! Irish Health care system (or should I say 'death' system?)

Today, in chasing the whereabouts of the various appointments I'm waiting for in the PUBLIC health system in Ireland, I can only come to one conclusion. I am indeed forced to behave unethically, against my conscience and totally against all my feminist, human rights beliefs held for many years.

I believe health care should be available to all. No tiers, no preferences, no passage because you hold power, money, status, position or are a colleague.

The human being deserves health care NOT tainted by the cheque book or the notes you hold in your hand., or the bottle of whiskey post service!

So I chase my case..."where is my appt for my echocardiogram?' This was ordered by my consultant in May 2015...because my disease affects hearts. and my GP had carted me off to the A&E in April from the GP surgery.

The answer "the next available appointment is in February 2016".

I nearly freak  but quickly remember if you freak and shriek they call you 'aggressive' and put the phone down on you. a strategy I now believe is a deliberate policy. 'Oh make her angry that way you can put the phone down'. Its a common mantra, so common I truly believe they've been taught to actually stir you up so they can 'justifiably' put the phone down. Thereby not having to sort the problem.

I digress...so I don't shriek, "but I could be dead by then", "That's the next appointment"...anyway she speaks to someone, who speaks to someone...after I tell her I'm off to the UK to be admitted to hospital because I have a RARE DISEASE and need this done before I go into hospital...so I get an appointment...next week.

That's my first guilt trip...trying to find a way of circumventing 'the system'. Its not untrue..., but I know I 'used' it to get the appointment. Because I wanted results before the UK visit.

Ditto an ultrasound on my thyroid and other neck glands...(I've had cancer),this morning I ring up the ultra sound dept;  "can you tell me when this appointment might be" (ordered at least 5 months ago) , a steely woman answered, not prepared to discuss, curtly said; "you are on a waiting list";

"but I see a consultant in Oct, no point if ultra-sound not done"...
"you are on the waiting list". then she added...
"do you have insurance"...
"yes", I said ...
"you can use that to go quicker"...I answer
"but that's jumping the queue"...

and I have the awful vision of jumping over the heads of my sisters and brothers in humanity...

now to a wee discussion on health insurance. The poor cannot afford it, premiums are rising beyond most income levels, out of reach completely to anyone on any benefit or pension. I can just about afford the premium, but if I "go private" the full costs of procedure is NOT always reimbursed. So I still have to pay, sometimes a considerable lot, for a procedure...which I can't afford!

Though some insurance policies pay these full costs, mine does not. I largely keep insurance for inpatient treatment.

Those policies that reimburse the full costs tend to be 'high end' policies. so we have a three tier system.
1) those who can't DEFINITLY afford the premium, so are full public patients.
2) those who can afford premium but can't afford the 'shared insurance-self payment' of a lot of alleged 'private' tests , physiotherapy, etc. These are the half-and-half group, private/public patients,  and
3) those who have 'high end' policies that pay for everything. These are private patients.

So now it's common for the middle bracket people to perhaps 'go private' on testing but bring the results back to consultant. The hospitals are in a win-win situation here. They get money from the insurance companies for 'private' tests, and also cut out people from the public waiting list.

So I'm asked to compromise my beliefs, that a health system should be an equal system for all.

Use my insurance , jump the queue. 

Some ask me 'why pay for insurance if you're so politically bent towards health rights and equality'?

Fear, fear of languishing in a public health system not designed to save your life...no its designed to offer as little as possible ...and to rather HOPE you'll be dead soon. why else would the echocardiogram waiting list be so long.

"die woman, (or man) die"...the public health system cries. DIE, DIE, DIE...you are too expensive.

The poor people will castigate me for having insurance "all right for YOU...you can afford insurance"...and castigate me for what they see as not joining in political solidarity...fighting health inequality...but I'm trying to live with my rapidly disintegrating body, with a rare disease where everything is failing. So...

I am afraid...I pay the premium for a private service I can't really afford.

How dare this right wing government force me into medical terror, force me to behave both unethically and un-christan-ly' , to be shunned by my working class friends and the many now middle-class poor too...

How dare this right wing government treat poor, vulnerable, bottom of the ladder citizens as less worthy of a good medical care system.

How dare this government pay lip service to protests, letters, campaigns trying to argue for a better health system for all.

How dare they make me fear for my life...at the end of my life...

I will continue to fight for medical service EQUALITY...having an insurance policy, the lowest kind, will not stop me being in solidarity with those who cannot afford one.

Its the only way I can ethically, morally function in this rotten system...

I am not going to forfeit my soul or love for others by accepting the unacceptable. I'm going to protest the evil...and I do.