Changing the language of distress in healthcare.

I was TRAINED    I was TRAINED  to understand, recognise, support people who displayed a range of emotions.  I was TRAINED to care about those who were displaying

Despair
Anger
Pain
Hurt
Aggression
Depression
Sadness
Bereavement
Fear
Loss
Bitterness
Regret
Guilt
Loneliness
Hopelessness
Suicidal ideation
Behaviour consistent with autism, Aspergers, learning disability and many  neurological disorders.

Yes, I was TRAINED, in nursery nursing, nursing, counselling, social work, even in catechesis, how to 'be with' someone needing me in any one of my many professional roles.

But aside from this...my humanity, that core inside of me, became infused with a sense of CARE FOR OTHERS by my own loss, experience of hurt, pain, abuse and isolation.  I knew the depths and so I did not WANT others to feel those depths. I knew the horror of that place, those places. Rather than back off,  or not get involved, or blame, or shame I plunged in...often where others feared to tread.

The result....I think I saved lives. But also I grew in humanity , care and love for others.

I'm not saying all this in a self-congratulatory way. I'm saying this as a person who fails to Understand  how anyone can hurt another, especially professionals.

Daily in the last ten years I've struggled to UNDERSTAND the annihilation of me and my twin by a supposed 'highly skilled professional' service -the HSE .

How one word....in the list above has come to be the total perception of myself and twin by HSE professionals.   The HSE is pernicious in it's use of this word.
It drops it into every exchange, every correspondence, every new person who comes on the scene.

That word is 'aggressive/aggression'.

Raise your voice on the telephone in sheer exasperation , stress or hurt and you are 'being aggressive'.
Raise your voice in a meeting and you are 'being aggressive'.

It's accusatory, it blames, it stops discussion, it stops relationship, it stops care. HSE professionals use it  prolifically to justify inaction. To justify stigmatising clients, to justify no service.

 As a nurse and social worker I NEVER saw 'aggression'. I just never did! If there was anger, shouting, raised voices ( and I seriously can't remember much! ) I knew instinctively to ask...WHY? What's going on here? What's BEHIND this?

I knew it would be pain and suffering.
I knew it would be from their lived experience of loss, poverty, illness, abuse, disability.
I asked myself - had I caused it. ( I was more likely to blame myself than my clients/ patients) .

The HSE see neither pain or suffering. They posit themselves as blameless highly skilled professionals with troublesome , awful clients who are not grateful and demand too much! They behave in complete martyrdom . 'Poor me' to have to deal with this 'awful client'.

The HSE never asks the right questions , and refuse to see the genesis of the alleged 'aggression' because they'd have to face the fact...they were causing such distress. So rather than see 'distress', suffering , pain, ( which would make them feel pain and guilt) they reject. They blame.

The HSE

are not blameless
Not professional
Not trained
Nor caring.
H
Because they do not understand suffering, illness, disability, loss. Because their expectation of needing to be valued, needing clients gratitude...allows no room for SEEING those clients are suffering from THEIR ACTIONS.

 they cannot allow themselves to admit the 'caring' shortcomings.
 They therefore blame the client and call them aggressive.

This is the language of  'austerity Ireland' , this is the language of a dysfunctional institution that claims to care and support.

This is the language of disability 'eugenics'.
'Awful clients' must be annihilated.

I am NOT an 'awful' client. Nor is my twin. We are adults hell bent on creating a 'life worth living'.
We are not going to be subjected to poor, abusive alleged 'care' by the HSE .
We WILL fight injustice of the way the Irish state annihilates ill and disabled people.

The HSE as 'agents of the state' are doing the states bidding. If we don't fight....we are ALL lost.

Every single disabled, ill, elderly person must fight . It is not 'aggression', it is survival.

I refuse, REFUSE, to be annihilated.

If I need to 'raise my voice' , I will.

I will do it loudly, persistently, daily if necessary.

No-one will dis-respect me or my twin. Or other disabled, sick or elderly person.