What worries us older folk most?

 

What worries us older folk most?

 

The hot weather has been intolerable for folks over a certain age. Those of us who also have an illness, or impairment  must be especially vigilant. Breathing becomes a big issue. It can be scary, for neither my oxygen nor my NIV Ventilator machine made any difference, I struggled, really struggled.

The Office of Public works (UK 2022) found older people worried about increasing global heat, 59% of 50 to 69 year olds, and 57% of those age 70 years and over, were fearful about extreme weather events, now termed ‘eco anxiety’. I am already in ‘eco anxiety’ about next year.

I am undertaking a small study of 25 older people, over the age of 65 about ‘living well and coping’. ‘Losing loved ones’ and ‘losing independence’ scored highest in fears ranking (60%). Being ‘unable to manage daily tasks’, and ‘going into a nursing home’, scored 40%, Death came in at 28%.  

Maybe we are not ready to look at death yet. There is a fierce ‘inside of us’ feeling to keep coping and live our best.  Sixty plus years of doing ‘it’ ourselves, whatever ‘it’ was or is, we do not relinquish it easily.

My ‘it’ in life has been campaigning for equality and justice in the abuse field. My happiness comes from seeing and being with others who see these values as essential human traits. My happiest time is crossing the finishing line of a campaign with change achieved. Real change.

My glorious times were watching victims of terrible abuse – survive and live life to the fullest.

Retirement is also a time to rock. Fun and fantastic friendships, fun and new horizons.

It seems totally unfair that most of us will degrade in some fashion as we get older, some more than others, some with a harsher path.

We have learned how to cope with a strange and difficult world. We have learned not to blame ourselves, when things do not work out. We learned that doing our best was good enough. Most of us developed the skills not to let the usual bastards trod on us.  Some of us triumphantly overcame to heroic levels.

That feeling of success is not to be given up easily, as we decline, we are forced to recognise all is not the same. It is galling not to be able to open the packet of ham, not to be able to get something off the top shelf, or go out with friends to the local café, or pick a book off your bookshelf.

It's even more galling after reaching the pinnacle of your career; regarded as an expert in your field, to have service providers, doctors, consultants, social workers, HSE managers, nurses, approach your care as if you are not allowed be part of the decision making. Almost, “how dare you have a viewpoint”. “How dare you be in control”.

Even more galling … to sit in a wheelchair, ignored, abused and disrespected in a nursing home and all because you are simply old or disabled.

We read daily of the so-called ‘pressures of an ageing population’ on the economy; it is spoken about as if we are causing all the problems in society.

These are not ‘problems of old age’. These are the problems of a political conservative agenda. It’s all about money.

If society blames us for being old, disabled or ill, it results in rejection, neglect, abuse, and the denial of human rights to be treated well and as we would want.

Why do we think that megalithic, over 100 beds nursing homes, run by multinational companies for pure financial gain, are suitable places for older, sick, and disabled people? How did we get into warehousing older people? how did old people become gaming chips in the race for riches by the rich?

Old age limitations, illness and disability are frustrating and painful to face, but it is the scapegoating, disrespect, and the negative perceptions of who we are that scald our souls most.

‘Quality of life’ and ‘equality of living’, for some reason, is not allowed.  The loneliness, isolation, poor services, lack of care and love is truly overwhelming.

Have we lost sight of humanity, of feelings, love, care… have we lost sight of all that our older folk gave us, or tried to, and many continue? Have we lost sight of what is most important, flesh and blood, not euros and cents?

We seem no longer to believe it is our responsibility to support older people, as they close their ‘book of life’, and celebrate achievements or talk painfully about their shortcomings. This is not how it should be.

It is our responsibility. It is our responsibility to remain human; we must tear down the hundred bed units warehousing older people and begin to love again.